MOURNING THE SELF- NEW NORMAL

I know I am a loser..he cried within shaking the ocean of thoughts he was drowning since the day he realized how alone and mischievous he was to himself because of the thoughts which kept choking him alive but dint ever let him die. 

I don't know what to do ...he screamed so loud that his voice shriveled in the darkness of his mind which kept him captivated all these years longing to survive the hellfire of his own mind.

I know am a fool....he tried to justify his all mistakes but deep down he knows he is not made for the things he wants, deeds he longs to do but never accomplished because he knows he is not complete in his own image.

you are a guy you cant cry......when did the emotions, felling got stereotyped

why why why why... he asked himself again and again why he can't be normal...why he can't be happy with himself why he can't be complete?

let me end this pain.....

let me....

for once.....

he cried or he tried to cry but his tears are not in sync with his mind like his thoughts never were.. he knows his biggest enemy is he himself but no one can gut his own inner thoughts while fighting his own fault self.

why I always want to escape....

and why am I doing this all again...

why I don't accept the truth....

why I want to be something I am not.....

why?

screaming this loud and finally, tears rolling out of his eyes..wetting his pillow sheets...a little boy trying to make a place in this over-enthusiastic world asking for him to make his own place in this world, wishing him to have his own identity YET suitable for this world while forgetting actually what you are and what you wanna be, strangling you to death inside while you think you are still alive SLEPT again to wake up for this daily routine of self mourning to be repeated yet again tomorrow.