A TOY

Hey...its me barge...yeah look here..on the wall….not at the ceiling...no a little down...next to this mirror… yes its me… yeah that my new place..i don’t know why i am displaced from my last place...it was good...no am not complaining though…. Oh sorry!!! I forgot to introduce myself… oh yes you are thinking i told my name...but is it enough to get introduced...like that down here...yes look down when i say so...dont be so foolish...yes see. That’s dog...but which dog..a happy dog or sad dog...or just a dog dog…. You will know about it only if i tell you right...well am not so happy barge..yeah what else you want a soft toy to tell you...han...or even tell you anything at all han….

Umm.. yeah that’s enough i think to tell you about me…. Oh you thinking about how i look? Well hey, i look like a soft toy….. Am not being mean to you,but give the little toy some space okay.

And that in front of me sitting on the couch is ronnie…. Yes he used to play with me and then his children played with me and today here i am..definitely, humans don’t go through this right..see this is how people forgets you and leaves.. You but you know this definitely gives you an idea that yes.. I am the legacy of this family….

Yeah like other legacies...am hung on the wall..damn i am not that old...or am i 

I dont know what he is reading or is he even reading at all...he is not wearing his spectacles and looking constantly above the brim of the  page,  it looks like he is reading….no he is not even  blinking his eyes… oh is that a seizure??.

..oh no no no…. he just turned the page even without looking at it?.

..yeah yeah what you are looking at is the perfect example of adulthood..where you just pretend to be enjoying something but you actually don’t….you just turn the pages of life….

Ohkay you thought what han a soft toy cant say some hard facts of human life...so what….a soft toy dont even speak and you are even listening to me...so yes...don’t be racist han...race of toys is as old as human beings we have evolved from a hard pebble to this beautiful soft toy.with green hat and read pajamas....okay

      DOOR SLAMMED OPEN…..

“Oops sorry dad….I dint mean to” said ronnies daughter…..

Daughter: I just want to say sorry dad….

Ah yes, she must be sorry she threw me out of her room that’s why I am here right what else can be the plausible explanation..it was night okay,i was asleep soft toys do get tired….ronnie no no you cent forgive her...am your buddy right….i don’t forgive her so..no more conversation right…

Ronnie;  its okay…

daughter ; i know you are not but he just made the plan for this!!

Ronnie looked at her..it the same look he had while turning those pages...is he trying to read her.. But what will he find out…. 

Ronnie; where is it?

Daughter; miami…..you will like the place..just 5 days left

Ronnie; hmm..

Daughter; hmm…?

Here i infrom you….which i overheard and normally i dont overheard anyones conversations.so dont make any judgements..but it is on me..they talk in front of me..noreover holding me….

Ronnies daughter is gonna get married...soon….IN HOW MANY DAYS??? What you dint hear it earlier??? Why am i even speaking?

Ronnie looked at her  and then looked at her hands….

Ronnie; you know you were so small when you just took birth that you fitted in my two hands and the doctor was so afraid that you may not survive….

You know i believed in you because i knew you will...i knew you got in yourself the willpower of your mother….

She dint sustained it but i knew somehow that you will…

Daughter just looked at  him...looking at his hands like he was actually holding baby daughter in his hands……

D- am sorry dad…  i know i was s hard on you yesterday….

YEAH ME TOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

D- i dont want to hurt you

R- you know.. Yes i am,

Daughter just stares at him and kept staring

Ronnie- i knew this day will come when my girl will be so grown up that she will no longer need her old man…

D- no its not like that... you know that…

R- well after 5 days it will be me alone wiping the carpet of all the food YOU throw while eating those pistachios… 

 Ronnie smirked… i think he understood what he spoke was not gonna happen soon...no daughter no pistachios no wiping.

Daughter look at him faintly smiling…

R- oh yeah….hmm

D- dad it’s okay...am not gone far away...its just an hour away…

R- ronnie looked at her and remembered how she dint want him to sleep in room next to her because 15 foot steps were far  away then…

Ronnie nodded his head…

Ronnie was not able to cope up with this conversation and smiled away..to give his daughter the idea that he was okay…..

And she left the room

Well this was the shortest conversation of the i ever heard...this wasnt ronnie….this wasnt him.. The most talkative dad i ever knew about has just ended the coversation with a fake smile….

I doubt how the daughter dint even realize it….? 

 

Or she just ignored it?

 Is this what being old feels like?

An old toy !!

Thrown away out in to the wilderness of thoughts where the present and the thoughts intermix together to make the greusome reality we just want to ignore….

Why this hasnt gone the other way around…..why she just barge in to tell her decision and not discuss it….

Its like with me i have to be the waiter in the tea party of daughter while i dont want to… do i look like a waiter?  

Well am so feeling good that am just a toy….i need not to nod my head and say the things i dont want to say….well i know its not just the old toys people leave… they make others feel like an old toy..I  still wonder what ronnie was reading on her face... i seriously dont know for that i have to old and a father..the curse of which is not bore by the toys.