CHAKRADHARI

 "Shedding the Weight of Blame" In a quiet corner of a bustling city, there lived a man named Ethan. From the outside, Ethan seemed to have it all: a loving family, a comfortable home, and a stable job. Yet, his heart was weighed down by an unexplainable burden of pain and low self-esteem. He had always felt like an outsider, disconnected from the happiness that surrounded him. Ethan had grown up in a close-knit family that provided him with all the love and support he needed. However, he couldn't escape the shadow of his own insecurities. He compared himself relentlessly to his successful siblings and questioned why he never seemed to measure up. As years went by, Ethan's self-doubt grew stronger. He struggled to find joy in his accomplishments and brushed off compliments with a self-deprecating smile. He became isolated, shutting himself off from social gatherings and shying away from new opportunities, convinced that he was bound to fail. One fateful day, a medical...

What's there to laugh... Eh.... Hey... Stoppp....  He told the little girl sitting on pavement along with him...  "Everyone makes mistakes... Eh... I dint know that... Stones carved to bricks, shoven together to walk upon are so good for sitting"... He spoke while sniffing his hands for any roadside fragrance... " Naaah am good"...  "You should watch carefully and walk".. Said the girl...  Guy.-" Don't you know big mountains do fail... " Little Girl: you mean fall??  Guy- yes  yes.. What else did I say... Little girl- nah you did nothing wrong.. . Except falling over your own litter.. She looked at him rolling her eyes up...  Guy- um well yes my name is gabi...  Little girl-.. Are you drunk?...  Guy- me?... Yes am good!!  Little girl- there is a thing called answering a question!!  Gabi- yeah....  Little girl- so you are sane.... But avoiding the quite the obvious answers to questions uncomfortable to you!!  Gabi- wait wha...

Hey...its me barge...yeah look here..on the wall….not at the ceiling...no a little down...next to this mirror… yes its me… yeah that my new place..i don’t know why i am displaced from my last place...it was good...no am not complaining though…. Oh sorry!!! I forgot to introduce myself… oh yes you are thinking i told my name...but is it enough to get introduced...like that down here...yes look down when i say so...dont be so foolish...yes see. That’s dog...but which dog..a happy dog or sad dog...or just a dog dog…. You will know about it only if i tell you right...well am not so happy barge..yeah what else you want a soft toy to tell you...han...or even tell you anything at all han…. Umm.. yeah that’s enough i think to tell you about me…. Oh you thinking about how i look? Well hey, i look like a soft toy….. Am not being mean to you,but give the little toy some space okay. And that in front of me sitting on the couch is ronnie…. Yes he used to play with me and then his children played wi...

I know I am a loser ..he cried within shaking the ocean of thoughts he was drowning since the day he realized how alone and mischievous he was to himself because of the thoughts which kept choking him alive but dint ever let him die.  I don't know what to do  ...he screamed so loud that his voice shriveled in the darkness of his mind which kept him captivated all these years longing to survive the hellfire of his own mind. I know am a fool ....he tried to justify his all mistakes but deep down he knows he is not made for the things he wants, deeds he longs to do but never accomplished because he knows he is not complete in his own image. you are a guy you cant cry.. ....when did the emotions, felling got stereotyped why why why why ... he asked himself again and again why he can't be normal...why he can't be happy with himself why he can't be complete? let me end this pain..... let me.... for once..... he cried or he tried to cry but his tears are not in sync with his m...

 I DONT WANT TO LEAVE... i want to stay where i am standing in front of  you, hope i can  hold you close to me...  i want to make sure she is not afaid of me ... i want to know that she loves me .. i can see in her eyes that she is afraid of me,...but does she love me?..I know she do.. but is there any way i can come to know about that.. i am cherishing all the moments i have spent with her.. i dont want to go..but i have to...why she is not stopping me? does she hate me? but why she will? is it because i am a failure and i have failed her.. i dint want to, no one want to fail the one they love.. then where i went wrong? why i made such a big mistake?.. now that she wont even stop me from going?  Have her hands gone cold? is she okay? i can look at her pale face.. avoiding eye contact with me..i can see tears in her eyes?  they are for me right??  i cant leave her like this..who will take care of her... look she is not even wiping her tears herself..lo...

what is life? A continuous desire to survive in the world doomed to end any minute due to the dirth of  'ITY' in HUMAN world was never such a shameful drama of life where the cost of your life was less than a rugged cloth not even used to sweep the house. humans are dying the death of a rat caught in the room full of cheese. divided by faith and united by what? HATRED, we are united by hatred toward a common to steam off the failures of our life by violence to keep our ego checked and high. WHAT IS IMPORTANT FOR SURVIVAL? Let me tell you a story: a family of two owned a big house made to accommodate many families of four, they were happy very happy, enjoying every second of their life like it was the end, like the next minute life was about to end and they will be left with no air to gasp, no water to gulp down the throat, no touch to endure and no vision of the future, but they were wrong, they were living in the glimpse of doom to make the presen...

I never thought she will do this. i never thought this end will come to her life. how can she do this to vanya, yes she named her inanimate friend........(and she closes me, her only friend why is she going to do this with herself) AFTER SOME TIME SHE REGAINS HER STRENGTH FOR THIS FINAL DECISION SHE IS GOING TO TAKE. SHE OPENS ME BACK AND STARTS WRITING ABOUT HER LAST DAY. "Today i am writing this for the last time for the day of ending, am not able to explain what i want to do and why i want to do, i suffered alot this year he left me he broke the 5 year of relationship of marriage and what was my fault in this i dont know why He did this to me but more painful for me is this day when i am going to end my relatonship with this diary too..... when am going to end this months of relationship with this diary and this life but i have too..... i cant anylonger keep writing my pain in this diary i cant keep wetting its pages, i cant cry anymore." "I...

Lolita was really a brave girl, a girl who fought with the devil's inside her and made out of the world of which she no longer considered herself to be a part of but she was afraid of the things that she will never ever confront to anyone coz they might not understand what she was going through after the downfall of her life and the  decisions she still repente. She was full of fighting spirit that I can see in her eyes the way she used to represent herself in front of the people who might judge her of what she was. Thrown in to the garbage of this wealthy world  where emotions of one are their own burden to take and no one finds themselves to be guilty of the pain they cause to others by their actions..She was being taught to be the same as them or just remain in this pile of garbage and continue to be picked up at their will and be used and thrown again and again back from where she started. But, the devil's she faught with, devil's which resides in her mind  were ac...

जंजीरों में जकड़ा हूँ मैं खुद से ही आज  लड़ा  हूं मैं ख़ौफ़ज़दा नहीं पर फिर भी सहमा हूँ मैं सियासत खुद से कर गया हूँ मैं खुद से ही खफा हूँ मैं सोया नही अभी तो जगा हूं मैं धोखा खुद से क...

it was late at night, whole room was filled with darkness, darkness was not only in the room but in her heart too which made her hollow from inside, I was looking through the small window of a room located in nowhere, I saw a girl of 5. lying down on the bed facing  the window through which she was looking at me with questions in her eyes..... she screamed at me if i can move the seas then why i cant move people, why i cant make them do good deeds. if  i can bring big waves touching the seas shore why cant i make the wave of harmony touch their heart? SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS DEAD? WHY I WAS SO EMOTIONLESS? WHY I SEE EVERYTHING AND STILL SHINES SHE INSTANLTLY GETS HOLD ON HER VOICE AFRAID IF SOMEONE MAY HEAR HER I was firecely red that night on my incompetency. she laid down looking at the moon through the window, holding her cretch so tightly whenever any sound will pierce her ears, she will shrivel up with the fear, the fear of losing his father. he left in morning a...

I SEE EVERYTHING I  see everything, the brutal marks of marriage on a brides face, tears of loneliness on clowns face, cooks growling with hunger,  poverty of rich’s hearts.I have seen a girl being torn for her beauty, a guy being bullied for his wisdom I have seen people enjoying  death and mourning births And laughing on others pain.I have been a friend to lonely, an audience of socio-phobic,auditioned a struggling actor.  there is nothing which is hidden from the mirror. I SEE EVERYTHING She(maid of the house) entered the room following her mother trying to hold on to the end of her saree to pace with her looking up at her with tears about to flow from her eyes.She looks at her hopelessly while  mother sets up the dining table. I can sense the rush in this moment.this little child trying to pace up with an adult busy in her chore. She merely matches the height of table. I can see her eyes just above the edge of the table staring at dinner plates w...

ROUND ROUND ROUND ROUND” Looking at the ceiling fan while lying on his bed rajbir wonders, we too keep running round and round and round for money and success but our run never end just like this fan….. “BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP “ The sound of machines which doctors say are supporting his life are his personal opera, no wonder he didn't choose to buy ticket for this…. 30 days of nonstop medications,tubes piercing his body day and night..Doctors finally said he is FINE and will be soon discharged. But don't know why he dont believe them...Today he is continously staring at fan and  won't turn his eyes even if someone calls him…. He can feel his heart pounding,heaviness on his chest crushing him and tears in eyes running along his cheek dripping upon his shirt….shirt his child brought for him…. “HE NEVER LET US CHANGE HIS SHIRT” How rudely this young nurse complained to the doctor. She don't know the warmth he can feel in this shirt which his son hand-p...

She was walking quietly on a LONELY road in the most busy market of the city  feeling nothing , no  connection to the fleshes roaming around her, relating her self to the stones paved into a road who  bears the weight of people stepping on it but is connected to no one, she is made of flesh carved into the stone that can't appreciate the breeze, for her it is just a hindrance from being confined in her own small world,she don't even have any right to set it's boundaries. She is now standing under the same tree which  is offering his services to her as an umbrella,a guard for  several weeks,the only thing made by lord who she actually thinks to have some life,some courtesy to offer something without any expectation of anything in return. I can see smile on her face,like a ray of light trying to pierce the dark clouds but failing again and again to  win  the fight of its existence. Every time a car honks her body shivers,constricts her soul,shears...

https://youtu.be/gHUWlBON8U0

Ok!!  Am an Indian and hurray saints are next to gods right....Oh wait saints charged for murder,rapes,kidnapping,theft......bullshit!! Even then they are THE SAINTS It means we don't care what you did in past or what are you doing....You wore a Choga.....Man!!! YOU WILL BE RESPECTED Why don't media understands saint or baba are the NOUNS not the VERBS Don't say BABA is arrested.... Can't you Sat Mr. X who by profession is a BABA is arrested... Our dear next to God Baba's are travelling in Jaguar......Asking for people to leave this materialistic world..THE MOH MAYA Seriously man you raped a girl.....And ask for respecting girls from your followers...What is it? paying respects to her corpse after you fulfilled your desires with her body and telling her family she reached the ultimate truth....She reached the ultimate level of harassment by a BABA..... Wait dammit he is baba how can be he wrong? He didn't raped a girl he was just helping in deflowering ...

This is about a mother who wakes up in nights because she had to abort her daughter to save her  own life... I woke up in the night, saw her in my sight She wore a dress, beautiful enough to take away stress I longed for her touch , she leaned and made hunch Her eyes were wet, her pain made me sweat Marks on her face, made my heart race Her face was bright, but she never saw the light Darkness of my womb turned to her tomb I begged for my life when she was killed with knife I slaughtered my child now turning me wild Motherhood secured but mother was killed I woke up in the night saw her in my sight Who was I? To vanish her living right

Being poor was not my crime I was struck by tide of time Like a kite I wished to fly Tempted to Cross the boundaries of sky Thriving mine dawn of life I Learned to fake a smile Being poor was not my crime I was stuck by tide of time

This is  about how a man expresses himself when he is on death bed:- एक अदभुत सा वो एहसास था,जब सर पे माँ का हाथ था पल भर के लिए जिंदगी में आया मेरे ठहराव था चल लिया हूँ अब बहुत,थकावट का अब एहसास था पिता की छुअन में गर्माहट का एहसास था ...

Laying down on bed,with a mischievous smile..raveena shouted.”just five more minutes mom..Please" Her morning can be described as the struggle of a lover to look at his love from the window..With a pure desire of giving her the warmth of his love. Here the lover is sun...And Raveena his crush. This is the very first thought of her of the day which brings smile on her face. She enjoys the warmth of sun on her face but never turns her head towards it to appreciate its sparkle but welcomes him in the darkness with eyes closed. Mom: “wake up ravee we will get late” Raveena shouted yes mom… With eyes closed she kept enjoying the sounds around her…..This bed lover has developed a very great sense of viewing the world with her ears. When the milkman comes outside she will think of the milk pouring out of one utensil and into another..Like us living through one situation to  another. When the birds chirp​ outside...She think of the infinite poss...

Whom you miss the most when you arriving for survival in this economy of competitive ,self proclaimed geniuses(in short adulthood)?"        "MYSELF".  I ANSWERED ABHI...